As I sit here contemplating ways to get out of these two exams I have tomorrow, I can’t help but to feel a little pissed off. Many people do not fully understand the whole concept of being a pre-health professional student. There are so many flippin hoops to jump through it just makes you sick! I know I will be a doctor one day but how much longer? I can’t see myself doing anything else. Not that I won’t be good at another career but I simply won’t be satisfied knowing that I am wasting my potential. Having to work at least 35 hours/week, volunteer, and attend advance classes part-time is starting to take a toll on me. My colleagues share my sentiments of general irritation with the whole process. I have given a great part of the last 4 years towards my dream and I want it to pay off. I miss having a social life and this has been a very lonely process.
On the other hand, there are moments where I understand I’m exactly where I need to be. I was teaching a patient how to remove and insert hard contact lenses last week. She became very frustrated with the process and started to cry. Although, I had a study group session planned within the next 20 minutes, I decide to be there for her. I took her aside into a private room and just held her while she cried. Afterwards, we got back to the process and she was able to get the hang of it right away. And it’s moments like those that I realize I will be a phenomenal doctor.
Okay my rant is over for now. Back to the chamber of insomnia.